WHO OR WHAT IS A BENJI?
According to Urban Dictionary
He's a beautiful little Bebo. He's the greatest person you'll ever meet.
He's lovely, caring, a great friend, sweet, cute, amazing...
If you ever meet a Benji you'll want to keep him forever and cuddle with him till the star's lights disappear, the world ends and the sun explodes.
He's so precious. He never gets mad at anyone and is always sweet to his friends (with the rest of the people he's so shy, which makes him cuter).
If you ever meet a Benji, you found a gift from God.
VERIFIED BY ME... AN ACTUAL BENJI
Alternatively, I can be summed up as a
LAIDBACK & FUN
(GIFT FROM GOD)
Our 4 Dogs
Chocolate Ice Cream
The X Factor
British Airway's Vegan Meal Option
Throughout my entire childhood, my parents constantly told me to eat my vegetables.
As an adult, I eat my vegetables aaaand, my parents take the piss out of me.
Technically speaking, Aliens invaded the Moon on the 20th July 1969
SHOWER THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF
I've woken up over 13'000 times and I'm still not used to it
Am I A Robot?
I’m always being asked to prove that I’m not a robot by the internet and I’ve never really stopped to seriously question it.
There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
*Size not to scale
*Not actual glasses
THE PICTURES ARE F***ING EPIC"
I go to weddings with a camera and take pictures because it makes me feel like I have a social life. Is it weird that my hobby is collecting the facial expressions of people when they get married? Like…people pay me for this but it’s really just feeding my all-consuming facial expression collection addiction.
It also makes me feel like I am artistic. Since becoming an “artistic” person, one of the greatest lessons I have learned is that in order to be special, you have to stop thinking you’re special.
That’s hard because I think I’m pretty special.
I enjoy weddings—especially the bits where people do the dancing.
I can’t dance. It’s not that I don’t know how to dance (I fully acknowledge that dancing exists) and I actually like other people dancing… it’s just that my mind and body are physically incapable of reacting to any sound spectrum. I’ve never heard anything and felt “I need to move systematically right now because there is a noise happening”.
So it’s better I take photos.
I have been exercising this avoidance strategy and disguising it as a career for 6 years at the time of writing. I have to say “at the time of writing” because time is always progressing and I wouldn’t want your knowledge of me to be distorted by time and my laziness to update this particular part of the internet.