I go to weddings with a camera and take pictures because it makes me feel like I have a social life. Is it weird that my hobby is collecting the facial expressions of people when they get married? Like…people pay me for this but it’s really just feeding my all-consuming facial expression collection addiction.

It also makes me feel like I am artistic. Since becoming an “artistic” person, one of the greatest lessons I have learned is that in order to be special, you have to stop thinking you’re special.

That’s hard because I think I’m pretty special.

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I enjoy weddings—especially the bits where people do the dancing.

I can’t dance. It’s not that I don’t know how to dance (I fully acknowledge that dancing exists) and I actually like other people dancing… it’s just that my mind and body are physically incapable of reacting to any sound spectrum. I’ve never heard anything and felt “I need to move systematically right now because there is a noise happening”.

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So it’s better I take photos.

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I have been exercising this avoidance strategy and disguising it as a career for 6 years at the time of writing. I have to say “at the time of writing” because time is always progressing and I wouldn’t want your knowledge of me to be distorted by time and my laziness to update this particular part of the internet.